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What We Believe and Why - Vol. II
Written by Dr. Lester Hutson

Copyright - Lester Hutson - 1982
This material is copyrighted and may not be copied or reproduced without the express written permission of Dr. Lester Hutson.

Chapter Thirty One
God's Method for Solving Offenses

INTRODUCTION: TEXT: Matthew 18:1-35

It is the strong opinion of this writer that obedience to the truth set forth in this lesson would do more to promote fellowship and harmony among God's people than any other thing that could be done. Most of us pastors, deacons, teachers, old Christians and Christians in general, have miserably failed in this area.

The truth set forth here is designed particularly for the family of God, i.e., those who are saved. Its practice is particularly beneficial within the confines of a Christian home, and among the membership of a local church. Although this truth was given to be practiced among Christians, even those who know not God, will benefit to some extent by heeding the advice and following the procedures of this truth.

I. THE FAMILY OF GOD IS TODAY ENTANGLED AND CHOKED WITH A MASSIVE JUNGLE OF UNRESOLVED OFFENSES.

A. Simply stated, an offense is something that causes hurt, resentment or anger.

1. Strong's Greek Dictionary of the New Testament shows the Greek word for "offense" to be "skandalon." It explains the word means "a snare," figuratively, a cause for displeasure or sin. Furthermore, it is an "occasion to fall (of stumbling), offense, thing that offends, stumbling block."

2. We've all felt the sting of an offense. In Matthew 18:7 Jesus said, "Woe unto the world because of offenses! For it must needs be that offenses come; but woe to the man by whom the offense cometh!" Offenses come in many forms. People say things about us, about something we own, about a friend or family member. They don't agree with us, or they do things against us, or against somebody or something in our lives. Children become offended by their parents, married people by their spouses, church members by the pastor and other church members, and even churches by other churches. Broken promises, inferior performances, haughty spirits, cruel words, anger, spurned offers and thousands of other such things are sources of offense.

3. Most of God's people are harboring a large collection of offenses in their hearts. Upon honest reflection, they can go back over the years and remember many, many ways in which they have been offended, and most of these offenses have never been resolved. In fact, in most cases, no effort whatever has been made to resolve any of the offenses, and wherever efforts have been made, they've been very weak and not according to the Biblical plan for resolving offenses which is set forth here.

4. The result of these unresolved offenses is untold resentments, hatred, hurts and bitterness within individual Christians, and massive strife, divisions, revenges and conflicts between fellow Christians and even between churches. These things stymie, limit, retard and greatly hurt the cause of Christ. Hebrews 12:15 warns, 'Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled."

B. God's people ought to see to avoid offenses in the first place.

1. In view of Jesus' warning in Matthew 18:7, we know that we will not be able to avoid all offenses. Some are sure to come. But we can and should minimize them.

2. In the area of offending others, we can minimize our offenses. God's command to us is, "Give none offense, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the church of God." (I Corinthians 10:32) We could all improve our track record in terms of offenses immensely, if we'd only work at it. Our offenses do hurt the cause of Christ. Thus, II Corinthians 6:3 exhorts, "Giving no offense in anything, that the ministry be not blamed." When it comes to our offending our fellow Christians, Jesus warned, "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." (Matthew 18:6) The apostle James wrote, "For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body." (James 3:2)

3. Though we might unintentionally and unknowingly be the offender, we can avoid being offended. The promise of God in Psalm 119:165 is "Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them." The key to success here is in turning your rights over to God, so that you begin to look to Him, and not the world, as the supplier of your needs.

C. The responses of most Christians to offenses serves to make matters worse, and to increase the number of offenses, along with all their spiritually corrosive results.

1. This lesson is not so much designed to deal with offenses and how to avoid them. It is especially designed to show what to do to resolve an offense once it has occurred.

2. Tragically, most Christians try every method except God's.

a. As we shall soon see, God's method is, in the right spirit, to go straight to the offender, seeking a peaceful reconciliation.

b. The way of too many Christians is discuss the offense (and quite often the offender and his motives) with friends, with the family, with other Christians, with the pastor, with fellow employees and others. And, we do this in spite of the counsel of God which says, "Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; and discover not a secret to another: Lest he that heareth it put thee to shame, and thine infamy turn not away." (Proverbs 25:9-10)

c. We may even spread the offense to others without intending to do wrong or cause harm. For example, we take it to our friends in Christ in the name of soliciting their prayers and or counsel.

d. The result of such action is that others are drawn into the matter. The issue spreads, opinions are formed, misunderstandings arise, people get involved who have no real knowledge of the issues, resentments are bred and more and more confusion and hurt is the outcome.

e. This is the kind of approach to offenses that can divide families, break up good friendships and split churches. Proverbs 16:28 warns, "A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends."

3. One other reaction to offenses, which is also very harmful, is to ignore them. This approach leaves the problem unresolved. Offenses need to be resolved. Not merely swept, like dirt, under the rug. Unresolved offenses have, like logs, a way of causing log jams. Lives can literally get fed up and bitter with offenses. They often mount up, one upon another, until they literally reach the breaking point. Then, they rip asunder friendships, marriages, churches and other good relationships.

II. GOD'S WORD, THE BIBLE, PRESENTS A CLEAR CUT, SPECIFIC METHOD FOR SOLVING OFFENSES.

A. The very crux of the method is set forth in Matthew 18:15-17.

1. Believers are commanded to go to offending brothers. (verse 15a)

a. In the first place, God's Word is setting forth truth that is primarily related to believers, or saved people. The verse mentions, "thy brother," and the brotherhood of Christ is made up exclusively of believers. (Galatians 3:26) Though unbelievers might achieve some measure of success in pursuing this method, it is not for them. Believers are to pursue this method, and particularly so with other believers. Galatians 6:10 says, "As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith."

b. The subject of offenses is the subject being discussed here. The verse mentions a "trespass against thee." "Trespass" is from a Greek verb, "hamartano," and it is used in the ingressive aorist subjunctive mood. In simple terms, it is a sort of past-present tense combination. The idea is that an offense was committed at some point in time which will not end there, but which will continue to be a troublesome issue until it is resolved.

c. When such a trespass occurs, we are to go to the brother in a genuine effort to resolve the trespass or offense. We are not to wait for the offender to come to us and apologize, the usual attitude, nor are we to just pray for the offender, although we should do that. (Matthew 5:44 and I Samuel 12:23) The point is that our response to offenses is not to stop with prayer for the offender. We must "go to him." It is not optional with us as to whether or not we seek to solve offenses with other Christians. We are commanded of God to make every effort to do so. Listen to the words of Galatians 6:1, "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted." In commenting along the same lines James 5:19-20 reads, "Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him; Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins."

2. The initial efforts at solving the offense are to be exclusively between the offended and the offender.

a. Matthew 18:15 clearly says, "Go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone." Now you can't put it any clearer than that. Don't go t the wife or husband. Don't go to a friend with the matter. Don't go to the church, including the pastor or deacons. NO. Go to the offender alone. Again, we are reminded of Proverbs 25:9, "Debate thy cause with thy neighbor himself; and discover not a secret to another."

b. It is amazing how many times that when you go in the right spirit, directly to the offender, the matter is quickly cleared while also contained. One reason why is because we get straight to the facts when we go directly to the offender. Thus, misunderstandings are cleared and false reports can be laid to rest.

c. Upon going to the offender we are to "tell him his fault." That is not easy, but it is God's way. Galatians 6:1 is very explicit in telling us how to approach telling someone his fault. It is to be done "in the spirit of meekness." God forbid that it ever be done in anger, pride, a "holier than thou" attitude or in any other such an unchristian way. You can be assured the effort will fail if it is not done "in the spirit of meekness." Most of us are experts at telling others their faults, but we know nothing of the spirit of reconciliation and meekness.

d. If a brother will hear you in your efforts to resolve the offense, you have gained your brother, and a beautiful fellowship can follow. As King David put it in Psalm 133:1-3, "Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life for ever more."

3. If the offender will not respond positively to your initial effort to solve the offense, you are then to repeat the process with two or three witnesses.

a. We are not to stop trying to solve an offense merely because our first effort is rejected or resisted. We are commanded to try again. Verse 16 says, "Take with thee one or two more." You with one or two more will constitute two or three witnesses.

b. The witnesses we take should surely go in the same "spirit of meekness" prescribed in Galatians 6:1. And, they should go to help restore the offender, not to accuse and condemn him. Thus great care should be taken in choosing the witnesses who will accompany us in the second effort to solve the offense. They are not to broaden the conflict, but rather to enlarge the strength of the effort to solve it.

4. If the first and second efforts fail to resolve the offense, then the matter is to be taken to the church.

a. The idea is again that of reconciliation. It is not to be taken to the church so that the church may condemn, gossip and treat the offender evilly. No. The church should pray for the offender and reason with him that he may repent of his trespass. And, the hope should be that once the offender sees the united attitude of the church against his offense, and their united effort and deep desire for his repentance, he will be humbled, and repentance will occur. It will only then be that God can give the grace he needs, for "God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble." (I Peter 5:5)

b. If the efforts of the church are rejected, the offender is to be treated as "an heathen man, and a publican." This involves the area of church discipline which is discussed at length in another chapter in this book. Let us suffice it to say here that such action must always be taken in love, with the hope that the person will ultimately repent. And, as soon as he does, the church should restore such a one into full fellowship with the church. ( II Corinthians 2:6-8, 11) Such action by the church is designed to be a constant pressure on the offender to repent before God and a testimonial to others that they should not follow such a course. (I Timothy 5:20)

B. We cannot over-emphasize the fact that this method is always to be followed in the right spirit.

1. The entire 18th chapter of Matthew is dealing with offenses and the forgiveness thereof.

a. Verses 1-5 are dealing with pride among the Lord's disciples. They wanted to know who'd be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. In response, the Lord began to talk about humility. Right off, we are dealing with a root cause of offenses (pride), and the only spirit in which they can be resolved (humility).

b. Verses 6-9 are the verses warning against offenses. The warning to offenders is quite sobering.

c. Verses 10-14 teach us that every offender should be restored in love. It is love that sends a shepherd after a lost sheep, and it was love that sent Jesus to die for us. (John 3:16) We are to love one another, (I Peter 1:22), and love ought to move us to seek restoration with an offending brother. That's the way God wants it.

d. Verses 15-17 describe God's method for solving offenses.

e. Verses 18-20 speak of the Lord's church, the place where this method is to be employed.

f. Verses 21-22 show that there should be no limit to the number of times we are willing to follow this procedure.

g. Verses 23-35 is a parable teaching true forgiveness. One point that is very clear is the fact that our forgiveness of offenders must be genuine. And, if we do not forgive our offenders, we cannot expect to be forgiven of our offenses against others.

2. And, it is noteworthy that inherent in this process of reconciliation is the fact that we right our own wrongs before asking an offender to right his.

a. Jesus taught this truth in Matthew 7:3-5. He said clear your own life before seeking to clear another's life.

b. You can be sure that you will not make progress toward solving an offense by another as long as you have not resolved the guilt that you have with the same offense.

3. It is an obvious conclusion that obedience to God's method for solving offenses would be a tremendous blessing to the cause of Christ. Conflicts and divisions would cease. Homes and churches would be knit together in sweet fellowship and strengthened. Bitterness and resentments would be overcome, and among other things, the world could see true love and unity among God's people. What a tremendous help that would be! May God, through His Word, convict more of us to learn and practice this divine method for solving offenses.

"It Does Make a Difference What You Believe"