10250 North Freeway @ West Road
Houston, Texas 77037
Tel: (281) 447-8484
10250 North Freeway @ West Road
Houston, Texas 77037
Tel: (281) 447-8484
Parents and Their Precious
Children
Written by Dr. Lester Hutson
Chapter Three
Proverbs 27:23
Introduction.
I remind you of Proverbs 27:23 which says, "Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds." How applicable this is to parents and their precious children! There are many things you should know about your children. Some are extremely important. Failure to know in these areas has the great potential to cause both you and your child much grief.
Tonight I will discuss Six Important Things To Know About Your Child. Again, this is not all you should know, but it is surely important that you be in the know in these areas. I am aware that there will be many times when your child will not want you to know. He will likely accuse you of intruding as a result of your staying in the know. He may try to hide many things from you; but parent, for your child's sake and your own, don't lose track of your child.
To know the things I am about to mention, you must become a part of and get into your child's life. A mere co-existence under the same roof is not enough. There must be bonding, friendship and relationship in order for you to know what you should about your child.
I. KNOW YOUR CHILD'S NEEDS.
A. You are obligated before God to do you best to meet the physical and material needs of your child.
1. Remember 1 Timothy 5:8 which says, "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."
2. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:14, "the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children."
3. You cannot possibly meet the physical and material needs of your child if you do not know what they are.
4. I want to hasten to point out at this point that the material and physical needs of your child entails more than tangible goods. Your child has multiple emotional needs too. He needs you; not merely the things you can give him.
B. Here is a short list of the areas of need in your child's life. The specifics which vary with individuals are up to you to know.
1. He needs food, clothing & shelter.
2. He needs medical attention.
3. He needs an education.
4. He needs time and personal attention from you.
5. He needs emotional fortification, different type at given times.
C. Neglect of your child's true needs is certain to produce bad results.
1. It can deprive and endanger your child at the time.
2. It almost always plants resentments that fester for years.
II. KNOW YOUR CHILD'S PROPENSITIES.
A. Propensities are simply trends, strengths, weaknesses, gifts in your child.
1. In spite of the popular saying, not everyone is created equal.
2. If you make it your business to know the propensities of your child, two good results are far more likely to happen.
a. You can go with the flow and fortify the strong trends of your child.
b. You can work to help your child overcome his weaknesses.
c. King David said in Psalm 119:59, "I thought on my ways, and turned my feet unto thy testimonies." As you know your child's ways and think on them, you can turn his feet for the better.
B. Specific good propensities that have great potential for enhancement.
1. Music.
2. Leadership.
3. Financial abilities.
4. Academic abilities.
5. Athletic abilities.
C. Some harmful propensities that have the potential for correction.
1. Deceit.
2. Destructive aggression.
3. Homosexuality.
4. Selfishness.
5. Introvert tendencies.
D. There is always more hope in either case when the person is a child.
1. Propensities unrecognized become stronger, often to the point of no return. Early recognition is very important to enhancement or correction.
2. That is one of the reasons Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
III. AS BEST YOU CAN, KNOW WHAT YOUR CHILD IS THINKING.
A. That can only be accomplished by keeping the communication lines open.
1. Only God knows the heart. (1 Sam. 16:7) As much as you might wish to know and as confident at you might be that you do know, you can not be for sure that you know what your child is thinking. Jesse in 1 Samuel 16 is a classic illustration of this fact.
2. Our children can tell us what they are thinking. Jesus said, "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh" (Mat. 12:34).
3. That means that parents must work at keeping the lines of communication open.
Don't silence your child. If you do, you won't know what he's thinking.
You will silence your child if you rain your wrath on him, shame him, ignore him too often or put him down in humiliation.
4. If you know what your child is thinking, you can work with him to meet his needs and give the needed input into his life. If you don't, you will be shooting in the dark, often with shameful results.
B. Here are specific tips for knowing what your child is thinking.
1. Ask questions. James 4:2 says, "ye have not, because ye ask not."
2. Be kind and respectful to your child. You can usually get far more with sugar than you can with vinegar. Ephesians 6:4 says, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath."
3. Spend more time listening than talking. Proverbs 10:19 says, "In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise."
Be alert to body language, trends, behavior and other hints.
IV. KNOW YOUR CHILD'S FRIENDS.
A. His friends can and will have a tremendous impact on your child.
1. "My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not" (Prov. 1:10).
2. "A violent man enticeth his neighbour, and leadeth him into the way that is not good" (Prov. 16:29).
3. The law of the mores, this desire to be accepted, is extremely powerful. It is quite likely that your child's friends will turn him in their direction. They are one of the most powerful influences in his life.
B. As a parent who cares about his child, you must know who his friends are.
1. That means becoming more than acquainted.
You must gain knowledge of their thinking, their values, their backgrounds.
2. Only by knowing your child's friends can you exercise proper control over who is influencing your child.
3. Even though your child may not want it, you own him this protection. 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 is a great treatise on separation from sinners.
V. KNOW WHERE YOUR CHILD IS GEOGRAPHICALLY.
A. You are responsible for the welfare of your child.
B. You cannot possibly take proper care of him if you do not know where he is and what he's doing.
1. You need to know where he is, who he's with and what he's doing. You should not allow your child to be in the wrong places at the wrong times with the wrong people doing the wrong things.
2. One of the tv channels used to say, "It's 10:00 o'clock. Do you know where your children are?" Every parent should.
VI. KNOW WHERE YOUR CHILD IS SPIRITUALLY AND HIS INVOLVEMENTS.
A. Your child's spiritual condition and location is even more important that his physical condition and whereabouts.
1. Is he saved?
2. Is he walking with God?
3. Is he backslidden?
4. What are his spiritual needs?
5. Where your child is spiritually is a sure precursor to where he is going with his life both in the mortal time-frame and in eternity. Remember Jesus probing questions of Matthew 16:26. "For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?"
B. The involvements of your child's life are clues to where he is spiritually.
1. Jesus said in Matthew 7:20, "by their fruits ye shall know them." You can't know the heart, but you can see what is happening; and what is happening can put you in a position to help your child before it's too late.
2. Parent, don't go to sleep on your child's spiritual location. Make it your business to know. Then make it your business to help your child with his spiritual needs and location. This is the surest way to really help your child.
"It Does Make a Difference What You Believe"