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Parents and Their Precious Children
Written by Dr. Lester Hutson

Chapter One
EIGHT THINGS EVERY PARENT SHOULD GIVE HIS CHILD

A. Yes, every parent is responsible to God to meet the material needs of his/her child.

1. It is 1 Tim.5:8 which says, "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."

2. The Bible gives insight into what is meant by providing for material needs. 1 Tim. 6:8 says, "And having food and raiment let us be therewith content." The basic essentials of life are named.

B. Parents have a moral obligation to meet the basic material needs of their children.

1. Fundamental needs of children are to be met by parents. In our age, that list certainly includes food, clothing, shelter, an education and enough equipment to compete in life.

2. This list does not necessarily include affluence, excessive toys, designer items and elite status.

C. The obligation to meet the material needs of our children surely should have a bearing on how many children we bring into this world.

Furthermore, murder by abortion is not an acceptable way before God to erase sinful, irresponsible, promiscuous sexual behavior.

II. A GOOD EXAMPLE.

A. No teacher is more powerful and profound than example.

1. Parent, your child is largely going to imitate you and grow up to be what you are. There are exceptions, but with parents and their precious children, life is usually a monkey see, monkey do scenario.

2. Your attitudes, your values, your habits and your character is most likely to become those of your child. Research has repeatedly demonstrated that abused children are the ones most likely to abuse their children. Irresponsibility seems to breed irresponsibility and high standards and good examples strongly impact children.

B. Give your child a good example.

1. This advice to preachers is also good advice for parents. It's 1 Tim. 4:12 "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity."

2. Let your child see in you love, integrity, forgiveness, responsibility, good morals, faith fullness, a good work ethic, kindness, good for evil and solid character. Let them know that you pay your bills. Let them hear you speak well of others. Let them see you love and support your church and pastor. Let them see a great relationship with your mate.

III. A STRONG VALUE SYSTEM.

A. Children have to be taught what is right and wrong, good and bad.

1. Right and good is not automatic to anyone. To the contrary, every human has a corrupt nature. The Bible says clearly that "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked" (Jer. 17:9). Solomon said in Prov. 22:15, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child."

2. Children must be taught what is right, good and acceptable to God. Nothing could be clearer than this truth in Deuteronomy 6:4-9, "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates."

3. Do not buy into the modern concept that children should be allowed to grow up to be and do whatever they wish, without parental guidance. Many modern social mentors would have you believe that parents are wrong for teaching their children morality, about God and true Christianity, sexual abstinence and how to make a political difference for God. The Bible has a word about that mentality. It says in Proverbs 29:15, "A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."

B. Parents, give your children godly values.

1. Teach them to "Abhor that which is evil" and "cleave to that which is good" (Rom. 12:9).

2. Set up standards and banners in their lives. David said in Psalm 20:5, "In the name of our God we will set up our banners."

Your child needs fixed positions, areas where he has already decided ahead of time what his stance and answer will be when confronted. He needs that when he faces drugs, illicit sex, the theory of evolution and who to date and marry.

IV. DISCIPLINE.

A. Everybody needs discipline.

1. A great many woes in our world and in most of our personal lives are a direct result of lack of discipline.

2. People don't know when to say "No." So many are self-indulgent and downright slothful. The Bible is careful to warn about the sluggard. "The sluggard will not plow by reason of the cold; therefore shall he beg in harvest, and have nothing" (Prov. 20:4).

3. Listen to Solomon compare the sluggard with the disciplined person in Prov. 13:4, "The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat."

B. Parent, give your child discipline.

1. Teach him to get up in the mornings, clean his room, groom his body and take care of business. Teach him to budget his time and use it wisely, as Ephesians 5:16 says, to redeem "the time."

2. Teach him financial discipline: how to say "No" to sales pressure, how to balance a check book and sound business principles.

3. There's a discipline to maintaining a car and a home. There's a discipline to eating correctly and one of the lacks of discipline is gluttony. Paul said, "I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway" (1 Cor. 9:27). He is talking about personal discipline.

4. To successfully compete in life and to be of much use to God, your child needs discipline. Dear parent, give it to him.

V. ATTENTION.

A. Your child needs and craves your attention.

1. He desperately wants you to see what he's doing. Those little guys are obsessed with showing you what they're doing and few things thrill them more than pleasing you. Watch me, daddy. Look.

Don't delude yourself into thinking that need for attention ceases when they get bigger.

2. If you want to hurt, starve and disappoint your child, ignore him.

3. Not only does your child want your attention, your really need to keep an eye on what he's thinking and doing. Solomon wisely admonished in Proverbs 27:23, "Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds."

B. Attention to his life is a great gift to your child.

1. It is easy to become so preoccupied with the cares of life that we do not pay much attention to our children. Many have been shocked when a child did something shocking. In lots of cases, paying attention would have seen it coming.

2. Remember that your child needs you, not merely the goods you can give. Play with your child. Read to him. Go to his school activities. Take him to games, on trips and invest yourself in his interests.

It seems to me that the kind of talk contained in Psalm 127:3-5 surely indicated a warm, involved relationship between parents and children. "Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate."

VI. PRAISE.

A. Everybody needs encouragement and fortification.

1. The Bible word for it is "edification" which means to build up. "Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another" (Rom. 14:19).

2. We are not to approach life, especially our children, is a negative, pessimistic, critical way. We all know Phil. 4:8 says, "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

B. Give your child praise.

1. Build his self esteem. Don't magnify his "F's;" exalt his "A's."

2. If you break his spirit, you will turn him in the wrong direction.

3. If your child is important enough to produce the death of Christ, your child should be extremely valuable and precious to you. He needs to hear that he counts with you; that you see the right in him, not only his weaknesses.

VII. LOVE.

A. Love covers a broad spectrum and with it, many other problems are solved.

1. It is truly a bridge over troubled waters. As 1 Peter 4:8 puts it, "above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins."

2. Solomon said in The Song of Solomon 8:7, "Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned."

B. Parent, give your child lots of love.

1. Show it.

2. There is always hope where love is. There is almost no basis for hope once love is lost.

VIII. CHRIST.

A. More than anything else, your child needs Christ. Failure here is fatal.

B. Devote yourself to bringing your child to Christ. 2 Tim. 1:5.

"It Does Make a Difference What You Believe"