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Christian Family Principles
Written by Dr. Lester Hutson

Copyright - Lester Hutson - 1981
This material is copyrighted and may not be copied or reproduced without the express written permission of Dr. Lester Hutson.

Be Yourself

Chapter Twenty Eight

INTRODUCTION: Text * Galatians 2:11-14

I have just brought you two chapters on honesty with self. Now, I am going to talk to you about another area of honesty that is very closely kin to honesty with self. It is the matter of being honest in how you appear to others. Many people are very dishonest in this area of their lives. They are not at all in fact, what they let on to others that they are. Some are deliberately deceptive, and others only subconsciously put on a false front, but in either case, it amounts to dishonesty. Everyone of you ought to really look at yourselves in light of the truths I present in this chapter. It may well be that putting on a false front has become so much a part of you that you are not even aware of the fact that you are acting instead of being yourself. Some people call it "turning on their charm," and others refer to it as being on "their best behavior," and still others identify it other ways, but, however you term it or view it, it is still a matter of appearing to be what you really are not. That is dishonesty, and like all other forms of dishonesty, it has ruinous and devastating consequences.

I. THERE IS A GREAT TENDENCY IN MOST OF US TO APPEAR MORE OUTSTANDING, BETTER AND ATTRACTIVE TO OTHERS THAN WE REALLY ARE.

A. We tend to hide our bad, evil, undesirable characteristics and conjure up a false good that is not normally a part of us.

1. The Bible uses the word "dissimulation" in speaking of this practice. It is translated into English from two Greek words: from the noun, HUPOKRISIS, which means "the acting of a stage- player," and the verb SUNUPOKRINOMAI, which means to "join in acting the hypocrite, in pretending to act from one motive, whereas another motive really inspired the act."

2. This is what Peter did in Galatians 2:11-14. He separated himself from believing Gentiles at Antioch, pretending that the motive was loyalty to the Law of Moses, whereas, really, it was fear of the Gentiles. For this Paul rebuked him to his face. And only God knows how many times we do right and put on a good show in front of other people, as though we really love God and want to please Him, when the truth is that we are only doing it to impress and gain the favor of the people around us.

B. This all falls under the general heading of pretense, hypocrisy and basic dishonesty.

1. I am sure certain people immediately come to your mind when I mention the kind of person who one time is all smiles and personality and the next time is silent and somber. You know the kind of persons who are so holy and rejoicing on Sundays at church but who are vile and harsh on their jobs and with their families.

2. These are probably the extreme types, the ones who are so different when you see them at different times that it is almost as if they have two or three different personalities. It is obvious to you that on many occasions they are just acting or pretending, appearing to be what they really are not.

3. Though some of us may not be so extreme in this, most of us are guilty of it to some degree on many occasions. It’s pretty difficult to find one who is consistently the same whenever and wherever you find him.

4. I wonder how much pretending you do?

a. How many times you put on better conduct around the preacher or at church?

b. How many times you turn on the charm and personality in a crowd and among friends?

c. How much harder than normal you work when the boss comes by?

d. How much kinder and more generous you are to others than you are to your wife and children?

e. How much better you treat your boyfriend or girlfriend than you do your mother, your daddy, your brother or your sister?

f. How much difference people would see in you if they silently viewed you in public, then later silently viewed you in private?

g. You would probably be extremely embarrassed at how much acting or pretending people would see in you if they secretly observed you 24 hours a day for one week.

C. This kind of pretense is fraud, impiety, bigotry, hypocrisy and a cloak, guise or mask.

1. In I Kings 1-2, Adonijah coveted the throne of Israel, and sought to make himself king at David’s death, in 1:5. But, God made Solomon king in 1:46, and Adonijah, who really had no regard for Solomon, was afraid for his life in 1:49-50, so he pretended humility and allegiance to Solomon in 1:52-53. But his pretense soon became evident in I Kings 2:13-25, and Solomon had to kill him in verse 25.

2. A similar situation existed with Shimei in I Kings 2:36-46. His professed allegiance to Solomon was only to save his neck. It is always hard to keep up a pretense, and sure enough, the true colors of Shimei came through, and Solomon had to kill him, too.

3. The Pharisees were classic examples of hypocrisy or pretense. Jesus said of them in Mark 12:38-49, "Beware of the scribes, which love to go in long clothing, and love salutations in the marketplaces, and the chief seats of the synagogues, and the uppermost rooms at feasts; which devour widows’ houses, and for a pretence, make long prayers: these shall receive greater damnation." Listen to Him talk to them in Matthew 23:24-28. They claimed to love God, but it was all sham. It was the praise of men that they really sought.

II. MY FELLOW BELIEVERS, THE LORD CONDEMNS THIS KIND OF DISHONESTY ON EVERY CORNER.

A. Listen to the words of Divine testimony on this subject.

1. James said, "Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word which is able to save your souls," in James 1:21. The word "superfluity" literally means "overflowing; beyond what is needed; more than the real." The Word of God is calling upon us to be genuine and real, to appear to others what we really are and to put off hypocrisy and acting.

2. Peter wrote, "Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently," in I Peter 1:22. II Corinthians 6:6 also mentions "love unfeigned." This word "unfeigned" means "no pretense or acting." Don’t pretend love and a spirit that is not true.

3. David said to God, "Behold thou desirest truth in the inward parts," in Psalm 51:6. God wants you to indeed be on the inside what you appear to be on the outside. If you appear to be a clean cup on the outside, you should indeed be a clean cup on the inside, too.

4. James said, "So speak ye, and so do," in James 2:12. Again here is a call for truth, to get dissimulation, fraud or pretense out of the way.

5. Romans 12:9 says, "Let love be without dissimulation" (pretense). I Timothy 1:5 says, "Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned" (without pretense). And II Timothy 1:5 is Paul’s letter to Timothy where he says, "I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in the grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice, and I am persuaded that in thee also." Oh, how precious to God purity, genuineness and honesty are!

6. When you follow the wisdom and conduct of God, you won’t be acting or putting on a false front. What people see in you will be exactly what you really are. James said in James 3:17, "The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy."

B. This basic dishonesty of failing to be yourself will destroy you.

1. God says, "The hypocrite’s hope shall perish: whose hope shall be cut off, and whose trust shall be a spider’s web. He shall lean upon his house, but it shall not stand: he shall hold it fast, but it shall not endure," in Job 8:13-15. He continued in Job 15:34, "The congregation of hypocrites shall be desolate," and in Job 20:5, "The joy of the hypocrite is but for a moment."

2. Look at what happened to Adonijah and Shimei in I Kings 1-2. Jesus told the Pharisees, "Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell," in Matthew 23:33.

C. There are two ways in which the dishonesty of pretense or sham will destroy you.

1. It will first destroy you with yourself.

a. When you are not yourself, not what you pretend to be, you begin to lose respect for yourself. You can deceive others easier than you can deceive yourself. You know deep inside when you are putting on, and you know the feeling of cheapness and hypocrisy that it brings. You know you are being basically dishonest when you are putting on a false front, and this very often breeds guilt and contempt for self.

b. It takes emotional energy to put on a false act, and this drains you and often results in depression. With a loss of self-respect and drained emotional energy, a person can get down on himself, withdraw into himself and become very lonely. I remember a popular song of a few years back that described pretty well what falsehood and pretense does to you. It was titled "The Great Pretender." One of it’s verses said,

"Oh, yes, I’m the great pretender:
Alone in a world of my own.
I seem to be, but I’m not you see;
I’m lonely, but no one can tell."

c. When you pretend, no one gets to know the real you. You establish no real points of communication and friendship. You become more and more isolated to a world all your own where things are extremely lonely and depressing.

d. No wonder God said, "I hate every false way," in Psalm 119:104,128.

e. All kinds of personality and emotional problems can develop out of this pretense or false front. When a person is one way under normal circumstances, but always pretending or putting on a front when in public, they plant the seeds of split personality.

f. So by pretense and hypocrisy a person literally destroys his own self from within.

2. But, pretense and sham also destroy you with others.

a. You may hide it for a while, but people around you soon begin to see through the veneer and falsehood of pretense. While you think you are being cute, they think you are being silly or stupid. While you think you are being clever, they think you are being hypocritical. They begin to scorn you and reduce you in their minds. They lose respect and trust for you.

b. This is especially true of your children, and other close family members. Public pretense and hypocrisy in you will cause them to disrespect and scorn you like nothing else will. For a long time the Coke commercial has said that what the world wants is the real thing. It is true. People do want to see the true, the real, the genuine, without all the falsehood and veneer. That is basic honesty, and it is what God has wanted all along.

III. DO NOT INTERPRET THIS AS A DISCOURAGEMENT OF IMPROVEMENT.

A. You ought to continually be improving or growing in grace.

1. Peter said, "But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ," in II Peter 3:18. No child of God should just settle down to always be as he is without improvement. I am not discouraging growth in grace at all. To the contrary, I say with Peter, in I Peter 2:2, "As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby."

2. But, true growth in grace is not the ability to put on a false, good front now and then, only to settle back in the same old rut after the little period of acting or pretense. True growth is reaching a permanent level of improvement, so that the new, better way of acting becomes a permanent part of you.

B. I am not saying, "do no better."

1. Put on your best, but not just for a show to impress others. Don’t let it be like a coat to be put off after it’s worn for a while. Let it be real, a part of you, not artificial and a veneer.

2. Don’t be and actor; be yourself. Don’t appear to be what you are not. Strive to improve, but not just now and then when you are in front of people. Do it all the time, in private and in public, in front of family as well as friends. Let it become a permanent part of you, a real point of growth in grace. Be yourself, by God’s grace, an always improving self, never a fraud or pretender.

"It Does Make a Difference What You Believe"