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Christian Family Principles
Written by Dr. Lester Hutson

Copyright - Lester Hutson - 1981
This material is copyrighted and may not be copied or reproduced without the express written permission of Dr. Lester Hutson.

Honesty With Self
Part I

Chapter Twenty Six

INTRODUCTION: Text * Hebrews 13:18

In Hebrews 13:18 Paul wrote, "Pray for us: for we trust we have a good conscience, in all things willing to live honestly." Few subjects are talked about more in the scriptures than honesty. They deal with honesty in conversation, conduct or dealings with all men. They talk much about honesty with God, but the scriptures also discuss honesty with yourself. In fact, you will never be really honest with God or others until you learn to be honest with your own self. I believe that is part of what Paul had in mind here in Hebrews 13:18. He mentioned that he had a "good conscience," and no person who is deceiving himself or being dishonest with himself can have a really good conscience. As I am going to show you, a person dishonest with himself is going to be plagued with doubts, fears, guilts, worries and many other emotional frustrations.

The Bible tells us to "Provide things honest in the sight of all men," in Romans 12:17. II Corinthians 4:2 says we ought to be "providing for honest things, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of men." We are told to have an honest conversation in I Peter 2:12, to profess honest trades in Titus 3:14, and to "do that which is honest" in II Corinthians 13:7. II Corinthians 4:2 says we ought to renounce the hidden things of dishonesty. Dishonesty is bad wherever you find it. With it are associated such terms as deceit, lying, hypocrisy, fraud and impiety, but no other area of dishonesty will destroy you personally as quickly as dishonesty with yourself. That kind of dishonesty will soon destroy your own confidence and inner peace and bring you to a life of emptiness and frustration. When you come to a place in life where you cannot even believe in and respect your own self, you will know that you are sorry and no good, that you are worthy of only scorn and disrespect.

There are several ways to be dishonest with yourself, and I simply want to call some of these to your attention and tell you how to overcome them.

 

I. LET ME FIRST TRY AND DEFINE FOR YOU WHAT HONESTY IS.

A. Webster’s New World Dictionary defines honesty as not lying, cheating or stealing. It says it is trustworthiness and truthfulness. It is showing fairness and sincerity. It is gaining by fair methods, and especially note that Webster says honesty is "being what it seems; genuine."

B. This message is specifically dealing with honesty with self, so I want to make the definition so clear that you will know exactly what I mean when I speak of your being honest with yourself.

1. Honesty with self is really a matter of being objective with your self. That means being "real" with yourself, not deceiving or fooling yourself. It is a matter of seeing your actual characteristics and the way things really are, rather than seeing them in a biased, prejudicial or perverted way.

2. Webster says "bias" is a "slanted or diagonal line in a piece of cloth," and by implication it is a leaning or slanted mental position, one that is not true to that which is really right or true. Bias is partiality or prejudice.

3. Webster also says "prejudice" is an "opinion formed before the facts are known," preconceived ideas, usually unfavorable. Prejudice is an opinion held contrary to the facts.

4. So being honest with yourself is to have a true and accurate opinion of yourself, of the facts related to you, and of what is going on around you based on the facts.

C. Based on what honesty with self really is, I am sorry to say that today there are far too few who are really honest with themselves.

 

II. THERE ARE SEVERAL WAYS THAT WE PULL OFF THIS PER- SONAL DISHONESTY AND, IN THE PROCESS, FRUSTRATE OUR LIVES AND STAIN OUR CONSCIENCES.

A. We often deceive and lie to ourselves by refusing to face the facts.

1. The fact is that everybody has someone in authority over him.

a. Too many of us like to feel that we’re our own boss and that we have to answer to no one. As it was in the days of the judges of Israel, "every man did that which was right in his own eyes," in Judges 21:25. Even so today, men still like to do as they please. The men of Luke 19:14 said, "We will not have this man to reign over us," and most of the world today has the same attitude.

b. The fact is that God has placed everybody at some point in a chain of authority or command. He has political government, over church government, over home government, and He is over it all. Within each of these levels of government there are strata of authority. Fathers are over mothers and children in Ephesians 5:23 and 6:1, but that doesn’t mean fathers are out from under authority. No, they are under the authority of the elders of the church who are under the authority of political leaders in Titus 3:1.

c. Regardless of how high a person may rise in the chain of command or authority, there is always somebody over him, for you can never get so high that you are out from under God’s authority. Romans 13:1 says, "There is no power but of God," for as Philippians 2:9 declares, His is "a name which is above every name." Ultimately "at the name of Jesus every knee shall bow of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth, and...every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father," in Philippians 2:10-11.

d. Many a person’s troubles in life stem from his refusal to face the facts that somebody is in authority over him, and he will not submit himself to that authority. Thus, he dishonestly fancies himself as the boss of his life, free from authority, and he is always rebelling against those in authority and living in a constant state of strife and turmoil with those around him.

e. That is exactly what is wrong with some of you boys and girls today. That is why your life is so miserable and unhappy and why you stay mad and upset most of the time. That is also what is wrong with some of you wives, and ex-wives, and it’s the problem with some of you men.

2. Closely akin to the fact of authority over you is the fact that you are going to have to answer to somebody for what you do.

a. There are plenty of people these days who are too dishonest with themselves to admit that fact. They act as though they can do whatever they please and never have to answer to anybody for it, but that is self-deception of the rankest sort. Mister, when you marry, you do have to answer to her for some things. Lady, you owe some answers to your husband. He has a right to an explanation. Children, God holds you accountable to your parents. And folks, you do have to answer to your boss, to the church, to the police and to many others. Paul said in Romans 14:7, "For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself."

b. Now you may rebel against what is right and refuse to answer to those to whom God has made you accountable, but you will not be able to wriggle out of answering to God. Romans 14:11-12 says, "For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God." That you cannot escape. Sooner or later you shall reap what you sow, according to Galatians 6:7. "God shall bring every work unto judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil," in Ecclesiastes 12:14.

c. When you lie to yourself about answering for your actions you simply compound life’s problems for yourself, pull the wool over your own eyes and set yourself up for a very rude awakening.

3. Another fact that many people are too dishonest to face is the fact that things don’t just happen by luck or chance.

a. They simply shut their eyes to the fact that there is a design and purpose in all things that happen. They will not admit to themselves that there is a God who is in control and causing all things to work as they do. Colossians 1:17 says, "He is before all things, and by him all things consist." Jesus Christ said God is the one who feeds the birds and makes flowers grow and causes rain and sun and all things to continue as they do in Matthew 5:25-34.

b. The result of this dishonesty with self is a constant unhappi- ness, complaining and bitterness against the things that happen. Sickness, loss, injury, foul treatment and such things come, and the person gets blue, discouraged and resentful because they’ve had "bad luck." He refuses to see that God allowed these things to come into his life to turn him to right thinking, to teach him a right lesson, or to build strength and character into him.

c. I’d bet that several of you are frustrated and bitter in your life, complaining about your estate in life because you have refused to honestly face the fact God has been causing the things that have happened to you. If you would see that, and realize that He is doing it to help you, for your own good, as Romans 8:28 says, you could reconcile yourself to it and find a peace and joy over it, instead of the frustration and bitterness you’ve been feeling.

4. Another fact that we are often too dishonest to face is our own limitations.

a. Christians often do this. We think we can win everybody, take care of every need the church has, solve all of the ills and problems we see, and be all things to everybody, but that is not the case. Everyone of us has our limitations. If one person could do all things, then we wouldn’t need but one person to do the job. Thus, we Christians have to band together and do the best we can, and even with our combined efforts, we don’t get everything done. Fellow Christian, even in the work of the Lord, you need to face the fact that you have limitations. You need to do all you can but with the realization that you can just do so much.

b. The world is eaten up with blindness or dishonesty about its limitations. The society as a whole has the idea that man can do anything, that sooner or later he’ll find a solution to every problem. The basic humanist thinking of Erasmus prevails today. Man is elevated as the supreme being, and God is played down or doesn’t exist in the thinking of most people. Yet, the average life span of the human race has not increased by one year since Noah stepped off the ark. Disease has not been conquered. Cancer, heart attacks and the likes kill more than ever. In spite of the supposed limitless abilities of man, wars and the likelihood of bigger wars, constantly increase, homes and happiness are falling apart; hunger and famines are increasing. Pollution is increasing. Politics grow more and more corrupt; the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer; alcohol and drug abuse grow; murder, rape, robbery, shoplift- ing and all kinds of crimes continue to increase; our courts are packed; our prisons are overflowing; taxes are getting higher; our economy is less stable, and immorality and sex perversion are at an all-time high, yet the average person you see has confidence in himself and the ability of man.

c. Folks, I tell you that it is high time for men and women to quit lying to themselves. Mister, there are some things you cannot do. You and all the rest of the world put together cannot solve this world’s problems. The salvation of the world doesn’t rest in men; it rests in the Lord God of Heaven. Jonah had enough honesty about him to say that in Jonah 2:9. His words were, "Salvation is of the Lord."

d. It is this basic dishonesty with self in failing to face his limitations, that keeps the average man from ever coming to Christ. He will not admit that he cannot save himself. He keeps thinking he can save himself by his good works, his baptism, his praying, his moral living or other such human efforts, but I tell you today that until a man comes to honestly admit that he cannot save himself, that only Jesus can do it for him on the basis of the shed blood on the cross, that man will remain hopelessly, helplessly lost and on his way to hell.

e. Oh how vital it is to a person’s well-being, both physically and spiritually, for him to recognize his shortcomings and limitations, to be candidly honest with his own self and know there are some things he cannot do.

"It Does Make a Difference What You Believe"