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Christian Family Principles
Written by Dr. Lester Hutson

Copyright - Lester Hutson - 1981
This material is copyrighted and may not be copied or reproduced without the express written permission of Dr. Lester Hutson.

A Root of Bitterness

Chapter Nineteen

INTRODUCTION: Text * Hebrews 12:15

I would guess that many, if not most of you would say your lives are bitter. You probably don’t know why it is that way, but you’ve swallowed many a bitter pill in your days, and, somehow, as time has gone by, many of those bitter things have stacked up in you, and this very day you know that there is a deep rooted bitterness in you over how things have been, and toward people who’ve caused it. In your heart, you resent it.

What has happened is that a root of bitterness has sprung up in you, and by now, may have grown into a full-sized tree of bitterness. Hebrews 12:15 warns against this, "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled."

Friend, I want you to look with me straight at bitterness. Don’t turn your head from your enemy. Face it. See what a cruel and ugly enemy you are harboring in your heart. Consider what he will do to you if you let him stay there within you.

I. YOU NEED FIRST TO GET A CLEAR-CUT UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT BITTERNESS IS.

A. Alexander Cruden defined bitterness as "a thing most pernicious, or that produces dreadful effects."

1. A bitter thing is something sharp and disagreeable. It is usually painful and harsh.

2. Most, if not all of us, have felt the sharp disagreeable cut in the heart as someone has jabbed us with the tongue or rooked us in some other way. We know when we’ve been rooked.

3. When those cutting words pierce the heart, or when it dawns on you that you’ve been taken, you can often feel your pulse quicken, your stomach and heart flex tight, and a spirit of hurt and anger flare within your whole body.

B. No doubt each of us can with ease, point back to several bitter events in our lives.

1. You can remember well the day someone came to tell you a loved one had died. Oh, how bitter and harsh that news was to you.

2. You can vividly recall times when someone pointed out some shortcoming or flaw in you. You’re too short, you’re skinny, your nose or ears are too big, you’re fat, you have bad breath, or body odor, you have a speech defect, you’re a bully, or overbearing, you talk too much, or you’re too timid. That news was bitter as gall to you.

3. You can remember how somebody condemned and criticized your church, a lie someone told on you, a preacher that turned out sour, the day your Dad whipped you when you weren’t guilty, and the day you learned your little girl was pregnant out of wedlock.

C. The fact that Hebrews 12:15 mentions "any root of bitterness" suggest there are many categories of roots of bitterness.

1. Just as there are categories of plant roots, likewise there are categories of bitter roots. There are oak roots, fern roots, ever green roots, grass roots and many others. They are all roots, just different types.

2. In the spiritual realm, which is basically the realm under consid- eration in this lesson, there are myriad roots of bitterness, which may be categorized into general groups of like natures.

a. There are roots of bitterness that fall into the category of unkept promises.

b. There are the roots of bitterness that come from insulted integrity. Someone questions your honesty, another your sincerity. Someone accuses you of ulterior motives. If you are bitter, and you trace your bitterness to its root, that root may well fall into this category.

c. Many bitter roots fall into the category that someone failed to submit to another’s desires or wishes. They didn’t give in.

d. There is also the category of spurned offers of help and expressions of kindness.

e. Acts of disrespect form another group.

f. Injured character is another. Lies, slanders, insults, misrepre- sentations, etc., fall here.

g. Improper treatment of your property is yet another category. Someone borrowed and didn’t repay or didn’t take good care of what they borrowed. Your neighbors or someone else doesn’t respect your property lines. They trespass, make too much noise, speed on your street, etc.

h. Other categories are formed by improper treatment of your friends, improper treatment of your job, improper treat- ment of your family, improper treatment of your country and improper treatment of your church.

i. The root of many a person’s bitterness falls into the category of hurtful words, and others into the category of hurtful actions against them.

j. This by no means constitutes a complete listing of the catego- ries of roots of bitterness, but it is sufficient to show that there are thousands of different roots from which bitterness can spring forth into a life.

II. THESE ROOTS OF BITTERNESS CAN GROW UP WITHIN YOU TO PRODUCE A PREVAILING STATE OR CONDITION OF BITTERNESS.

A. This is what Hebrews 12:15 is pointing out when it speaks of a "root of bitterness springing up".

1. A.T. Robertson in his Word Pictures in the New Testament says, "springing up" speaks of "quick action."

2. If a root of bitterness is allowed to stay in your heart, it will instantly begin to change your disposition and outlook on life.

3. The longer the root is there, the bigger, more deep seated bitterness will grow in your life, and the more it will canker, erode and eat away at the quality of your life.

4. It is amazing how soon a bitter offence can begin to permeate and influence for the worse a person’s whole life and attitudes.

a. For example, a person points out that your skirt is too short or your hair is too long. You immediately resent it. You feel impelled by revenge to point out something in turn that is wrong with your accuser. Instead of being like Christ, who "opened not his mouth," in Acts 8:32, before His accusers, you retaliate with something hurtful. Furthermore, that accusation against you lingers, and anger builds in you over it. You come to resent your accuser and feel hostile toward him. This makes you constantly aware of your shortcoming which was pointed out, and you just dare the next person to mention it or make some joke over it. Your bitter spirit makes you short with your friends and family. You grow defensive and critical of others. What has happened is that a root of bitterness has sprung up within you.

b. If, in some way, you have had the word put to you, you’ve no doubt felt the bitterness and hurt and resentment growing within you. The more you’ve meditated over that initial shock, the more you’ve resented it. You’ve caught yourself daydreaming over it and going over and over in you mind how unfair and unjust it was to you. You’ve thought of lots of cute, sharp things you should have said to your offender. You may have even thought about how you should get even and what you might do in revenge. That feeling you felt, which has aroused anger, resentment, revenge and even hatred within you was simply a root of bitterness springing up within you.

B. Once a root of bitterness has sprung up within you, it can dominate and sour your whole life.

1. Solomon once said, "the heart knoweth his own bitterness," Proverbs 14:10.

a. As I’ve just pointed out, the heart will seethe and meditate over bitter occurrences. People find themselves boiling and steaming inside.

b. One root of bitterness springing up within you can spill over into almost every other area of your life. Grow bitter toward your boss, and you’ll begin to dislike your job. You’ll come home out of sorts with your wife and grouchy with the children. You’ll lose the purity and joy of your heart. You won’t enjoy church and worshipping God as you once did. You’ll be tense when you start to work, and that will eventually give you high blood pressure, and increase your likelihood of heart attack and stroke. There is hardly an area of your life that will not be affected by one root of bitterness, whether it be with your wife, boss, friend, God or whoever else. I Corinthians 5:6 says, "a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump."

c. Furthermore, one root of bitterness is like a log crossway in a stream. The next log jams against it, then another and another, until there is a great log jam blocking the entire stream. Likewise, one root of bitterness gives rise to another,and another, and another, until the whole life is clogged with bitterness.

2. There are many Bible examples which illustrate the trend I’ve been describing.

a. The ancient Persian King Ahasuerus gave his approval to a diabolical decree to have all the Jews in his kingdom killed. The news of this decree was bitter, bitter for every Jew, especially for Mordecai, who was one of the most prominent among them. This bitter news completely dominated his entire life so that Esther 4:1 says, "When Mordecai perceived all that was done, Mordecai rent his clothes, and put on sackcloth with ashes, and went out into the midst of the city, and cried with a loud and a bitter cry." And verse 3 will show you that all the Jews were dominated by this bitter decree. "And in every province, withersoever the King’s commandment and his decree came, there was a great mourning among the Jews, and fasting, and weeping, and wailing; and many lay in sackcloth and ashes."

b. Ruth 1 will give you a look at the life of Naomi. Her confession in verse 20 was that "the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me." Her whole life had become one bitter lot to the point that she said to the people of Bethlehem-judah, "Call me not Naomi (meaning pleasant), call me Mara" (meaning bitter).

3. It may very well be that some of you are just like Naomi. A root of bitterness has sprung up within you, and your life as a whole has grown bitter and unhappy over it. You’ve lost the joy and luster of life. Your cup never runs over any more. You can’t see the good in things anymore; all you can see is the bad. You haven’t really rejoiced in a long, long time. You are always critical, suspicious, and for you, life seems to have an air of gloom over it. What has happened is that a root of bitterness has sprung up within you, and produced a prevailing state of bitterness in your life.

III. THE CONSEQUENCES OF SUCH BITTERNESS WITHIN YOU ARE CRUEL AND DEVASTATING.

A. Notice that Hebrews 12:15 says a root of bitterness will "trouble you".

1. Folks, a bitter root will ultimately produce bitter fruit. The contagion of sin is as terrible as any disease.

2. It is trouble when you have resentment and hatred in your heart. It is trouble when you grow grouchy and critical. It is trouble when you start plotting revenge. It is trouble when you get down on the world and everybody around you.

3. Like this scripture says, you’d better be constantly on guard lest any root of bitterness spring up within you, for once it does, your troubles will multiply. Galatians 6:7-8 says, "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption." Folks, any scandalous sin, dangerous error or schism, tending to draw persons away, the end thereof will be bitter.

4. The scriptures particularly mention a harlot. She may appear very appealing at the beginning, but in the end affairs with her are bitter, bitter. Solomon wrote, "for the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil: but her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword," Proverbs 5:3-4. The man who gets involved with a harlot finds in the end that he loses his self-respect and generally his family. Often he contacts venereal disease and loses his health. The girl who becomes a harlot loses her tenderness and womanly affections. She loses her self-respect and comes to hate herself and all men, especially those who use her. Most often she is abused and often becomes hooked on drugs. Her end is bitter. Usually she ends it all one day with suicide. Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 7:26, "I find more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets, and her hand as bands..."

5. Israel chose to live a wicked, "dog-eat-dog" type of life in Amos the Prophet’s day according to Amos 8:1-3. As a result God said in verse 10, "I will turn your feasts into mourning, and all your songs into lamentation; and I will bring up sackcloth upon all lions, and baldness upon every head; and I will make it as the mourning of an only son, and the end thereof as a bitter day."

6. Hebrews 12:15 says bitterness will "trouble you," and trouble means to defile and annoy; to dye or stain.

a. That is exactly what happens once bitterness springs up within you. You don’t feel a pure, fresh, unpolluted heart any more. You no longer feel things are clear between you and all men, that your heart is free of offence. No. You suddenly realize there is a spot or stain in your heart. Things are getting clogged up, and the further it goes, the more clogged things get. You no longer feel free and clear in your heart, but you feel heavy and clouded.

b. You can well understand then what Paul wrote to Titus when he said, "Unto the pure, all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled," Titus 1:15. A defiled, troubled mind and conscience is a direct byproduct of bitterness.

B. Let me be more specific as to just how bitterness troubles and destroys you.

1. In the first place, it gives you spiritual troubles and destroys your spirituality.

a. It destroys your love for God, for you cannot love God properly at the same time you resent and hate another person. I John 4:20-21 says, "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar; for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen: And this commandment have we from him, that he who loveth God love his brother also."

b. Bitterness also makes you offensive to God in that it makes you guilty of assuming a right that you do not have. You see, a natural response to bitterness is revenge, and only God has the right of revenge. He said in Romans 12:19, "Vengeance is mine; I will repay saith the Lord." One of the prime means of revenge employed by many is silence. We attempt to punish people with silence. There are also many other means of revenge.

c. Bitterness puts you in a position where God will not forgive your sins that hinder your fellowship with Him. Thus, bitter ness puts you out of fellowship with God. You can see this in Matthew 6:12. When you pray the model prayer, you say, "Forgive us our trespasses as (or in the same way) we forgive those who trespass against us." That means if we don’t forgive other people, we are actually asking God not to forgive us. Jesus made that amply clear when He said, "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses," Matthew 6:14-15.

2. Furthermore, bitterness has dire social consequences.

a. It alienates friends and family.

b. It makes you look obnoxious and hypocritical to those around you. It turns them against the very things for which you stand.

c. Hebrews 12:15 mentions this as it speaks of a root of bitterness springing up to trouble you "and thereby many be defiled." One bitter person can hurt and affect and influence many, many others. Bitterness seems to breed bitterness: and folks of bitter spirits are often drawn together as is seen in I Samuel 22:2.

d. One of the surest and quickest ways to alienate everybody around you, and find yourself in a lonely world where no one is really close to you, is to let a root of bitterness spring up within you. It will not only trouble you, it will defile those around you. Bitter words are like "arrows" in the hearts of those around you, according to Psalm 64:3.

e. The realization of this truth gives special insight into why Paul said in Colossians 3:19, "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." Be not bitter, for it will drive you apart.

3. Bitterness also destroys you emotionally.

a. Emotional energy is required to maintain a grudge. In the same way that we become weary when our physical energy is exhausted, likewise, we become depressed once our emotional energy is exhausted.

b. Therefore, you can see how depression is a prime result of bitterness. There are also many other emotional results of bitterness.

4. Bitterness also has its mental consequences.

a. Dr. S.I. McMillen on page 72 of his book None of These Diseases illustrates what happens mentally once you start holding resentments. He says, "The moment I start hating a man, I become his slave. I can’t enjoy my work any more because he controls my thoughts. My resentments produce too many stress hormones in my body, and I become fatigued after only a few hours of work. The work I formerly enjoyed is now drudgery. Even vacations cease to give me pleasure." Dr. McMillen says, "I can’t escape his tyrannical grasp on my mind. When the waiter serves me porterhouse steak, it might as well be stale bread and water. My teeth chew the food and I swallow it, but the man I hate will not permit me to enjoy its taste."

b. Folks, bitterness controls your mind. It dominates you, it puts a flavor of bitterness in everything you do, and it goes with you everywhere you go. No wonder Solomon said in Proverbs 15:17, "Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith," and "Better is a tiny morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife," Proverbs 17:1.

5. There are also physical consequences of bitterness.

a. Bitterness upsets your chemical balance According to Dr. McMillen, bitterness, and its accompanying resentments and hatreds, calls for certain hormones from the thyroid, pituitary and adrenal glands. Excesses of these hormones in the blood stream can cause diseases in any part of the body such as gout, arthritis, ulcerative colitis, toxic goiters, high blood pressure, stroke and dozens of others.

b. Bitterness will give you distinctive facial features. Refusing to forgive results in loss of good sleep and in physical fatigue. this will cause face muscles to sag and worry lines to develop. If these lines and sags, and hard, tense looks stay there very long, they will become permanently etched on your face, thus your eyes and facial muscles soon become permanent reflections of your inward feelings.

c. Even your bone health is directly affected by bitterness.

(1) Bill Gothard points out that the health of our bones determines the health of our body, because the blood is manufactured in the marrow of our bones. And, as Leviticus 17:11 shows, "The life of the flesh is in the blood." So unhealthy bones will directly affect your blood; and without ample and healthy blood you cannot be a healthy person.
(2) Now it is a Biblical fact that bitterness and its accompanying resentment, hatreds and depressions directly weak- en the bones. Solomon said, "A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones," Proverbs 14:30. Strong’s Hebrew Dictionary says rottenness is "decay." Whether or not you like to face it, your bones begin to physically decay once envy or bitterness sets in you. Thus, Solomon wrote again, "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones," Proverbs 17:22; and in Proverbs 12:4, "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones." David confessed in Psalm 32:3, "When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roarings all the day long." It is generally known in the field of Internal Medicine that three types of bone diseases known as metabolic bone disease result from an improper consumption of Vitamin D, calcium and phosphorus by the patient. Improper ingestion and poor absorption of these by a person can cause osteoporosis, osteomalacia or rickets. Osteoporosis is a loss of bone; with the appearance of holes and a moth eaten look. The loss of substance can cause the spinal column to compress, rendering the patient stooped. Osteomalacia is a disease resulting in softening of the bones. It is also painful, and there is likelihood of deformity. Rickets is a painful disease also resulting in bone softening, swelling of joints, and a knotty formation of some joints. It occurs primarily in children.

In humans, bone loss depends on nutritional habits. It has been documented in numerous medical journals that people under stress deny themselves a well-balanced diet. Thus, they often avoid Vitamin D, calcium, and phospho- rus. The result is a great likelihood of bone disease, just as God promised.

Keeping silence is often a response of revenge to bitterness, and when this is the case, you may appear peaceful and calm outwardly, but your spirit and heart will be troubled and raging within. And, when it is, your glands are squirting excessive hormones into your bloodstreams, such as adrenalin, cortisone, estrogen, thyroid and para- thyroid. This over-production of many hormones greatly and directly effect acceleration of many bone diseases. Thus, your bones are actually aging at a much more rapid pace than is natural and normal. They become old and brittle much too soon, which may indeed shorten your natural life and make you much more susceptible to injury, especially broken bones. Getting rid of bitterness is a very good therapeutic medical procedure. It lends itself rapidly to good health. Solomon put it this way, "The light of the eyes rejoiceth the heart: and a good report maketh the bones fat," Proverbs 15:30.

C. It is no wonder then that God exhorts us to put away bitterness out of our lives.

1. James wrote, "But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion, and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy," in James 3:14:17. James also said, "Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. Wherefore lay aside all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the en- grafted word which is able to save your souls," in James 1:19-21.

2. Paul wrote, "Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head," in Romans 12:17-20.

3. Listen to these words of counsel in Ephesians 4:26-32, "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the heavens. And, grieve not the Holy spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you."

4. Folks, I tell you there is no need to brood over resentments, and in so doing wreck your happiness, alienate your friends, destroy your health, and shorten your mortal life. Do what Hebrews 12:15 says do: "Look diligently," and the one to whom you should look is Jesus, for it is verses 2-3 of this same 12th chapter of Hebrews that says, "Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds." If you focus on people and hold to your rights, you will be soon consumed by a root of bitterness springing up within you. If you will take your eyes off men and look unto God to sustain you, realizing that you have no rights, but that you are not your own for you are bought with Jesus’ blood, you will rid your life of bitterness. Joy, happiness, a clear conscience and peace with all men can be your portion in life. My friend, don’t let a root of bitterness springing up trouble you. Get rid of your bitterness by looking unto Jesus.

"It Does Make a Difference What You Believe"