Christian Family Principles - Chapter Thirteen

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Christian Family Principles
Written by Dr. Lester Hutson

Copyright - Lester Hutson - 1981
This material is copyrighted and may not be copied or reproduced without the express written permission of Dr. Lester Hutson.

Ahab and Jezebel Husband and Wife
Part Two

Chapter Thirteen

INTRODUCTION: Text * I Kings 21:25

In the last chapter I primarily discussed Ahab, who was the husband of Jezebel. I told you what a Godless, wicked man he was, and what God did to him about that wickedness. Next, I want you to understand why Ahab was such a wicked husband-king.

II. I CALL YOUR ATTENTION TO THE FACT THAT THERE ARE TWO REALMS OF POWER IN A HOME.

A. First, there is the realm of authority.

1. This is the husband’s place of power in the home. He is the one in authority. God has made him head over the home and has given him authority in it. Ephesians 5:23 says, "The husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church." Verse 24 continues, "Therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Verse 22 of the same chapter says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." Colossians 3:18 says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord."

2. God also tells children, "Obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord," in Colossians 3:20, and "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right," in Ephesians 6:1.

3. So it is not too difficult to see who God put in the place of authority in the home. Children are to obey parents, and the wife is to be subject to the husband. That puts the husband in the highest place of authority in the home. Others, especially the wife, may also have a certain realm of authority, but the husband is in the highest place of authority.

4. That means the husband can decide many matters and enforce family policies. He would certainly do well and be wise to consider the needs and desires of other family members in his use of authority, but ultimately, the final deciding vote and decision is his. By God-given right, the husband has the authority to decide on where the family will live, what it’s economic status will be, whether or not they will go to church, as well as where they will go and many other such things. You husbands have the authority to outlaw cussing, smoking and the watching of unchris- tian television programs in your home. You have the authority to institute daily Christian devotions, wholesome family entertain- ment and family projects, good physical hygiene habits, polite social manners, diligent work habits, proper respect for other people, the job and the law, and all kinds of other good qualities.

5. Some of you husbands may have let much of your authority slip away from you. Through your neglect or abuse, your wife, or even your children, may have taken over much of what is rightfully yours. Shame on you, if that is true. You ought to straighten up, and once again prove to your wife and children that you are worthy of being trusted with the reins of authority in your family.

B. In a family, there is also the realm of influence.

1. This is the wife’s place of power in the family. This fact is specifically implied in I Peter 3:1, where Peter commands, "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives." Note well the weight of influence a wife can exercise in the family.

2. The fact is that the power of influence is greater than the power of authority. This is one of the reasons the molding of the mother is usually seen most in a person, once he comes to maturity. This is one of the reasons why you see many hostile, rebellious children. The influence of other children, television, worldly music and other trends in the world are having a greater power over them than the authority of parents, the law, or even the word of God. Peer pressure is nothing more than the power of influence, and everybody here knows how weighty peer pressure is.

3. I couldn’t begin to tell you how many times a wife’s influence has supplanted the authority of her husband. I’ve known some people who grew up to be honest, Godly people, in spite of the fact that they had a no-good irresponsible daddy. They had a good Godly mother, who brought every ounce of her influence for the better to bear upon them, and the power of her good influence overrode the power of the father’s evil authority. On the other hand, I have repeatedly seen the good efforts of many a father, thwarted by the evil influence of the mother. For example, I’ve seen fathers correct and discipline children, only to have mother condemn and criticize them for it. Often the condemning and criticizing occurs in the presence of the children. Many a mother uses her power of influence to destroy the power of authority in her husband. He wants to serve the Lord, and be faithful in church, but he gets no support from her. He wants the home to be peaceful and happy, but mother nags, fusses, gripes and complains. He wants a spiritual home, but mother has her eyes on a house, appliances, clothes, a new car, pleasure trips and other material goods. Father wants to wean the children off TV, but mother insists that they will get bored without it, and she lets them glue to it when dad is not around. Regardless of how much dad tries, mom does not keep a clean house, does not put her heart in the family, has no control over her temper, makes no effort to be punctual, never wins a victory over greed, selfishness or resentment, and says what she thinks regardless of how much or who it hurts.

4. Listen to me, wives. Some of you are ruining your husbands, ruining your children and destroying your homes by failing to bring your power of influence into subjection to the authority of your husbands. You don’t realize how you are killing your husband’s will to even try, by frustrating every good effort he puts forth. You don’t realize how you are building rebellion, insubordination, resentment and hatred into your sons and daughters. Your influence is building unconcern, laziness, greed, a materialistic outlook and a scorn for subjection to God-ordained authority into your children. And, your constant wrong influence upon your husband can even cause him to use his power of authority in an ever increasingly Godless way.

5. Jezebel is a classic example of this fact. She was a pagan Zidonian, and it was her influence upon Ahab that caused him to worship and serve the false idol Baal, as I Kings 16:31-33 says he did. It was Jezebel’s influence over Ahab that caused him to back her in her sinister, evil plot to take the life of God’s prophet Elijah, as described in I Kings 19:1-2. It was Jezebel who hatched the diabolical plot that brought about the legal murder of innocent Naboth, in I Kings 21:1-16. It was her power of influence over him that caused Ahab to rejoice in such a cruel, wicked thing. I hope you are beginning to get some glimpse as to why God said in I Kings 21:25, "But there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord, whom Jezebel his wife stirred up." Ahab was wicked, but Jezebel made him that way, and Ahab had to pay for his part in their wickedness, but Jezebel paid for her part, too. You know that Ahab died from an arrow, which God guided to his chest, and the dogs licked up his dried, matted blood as they washed his chariot at the pool of Samaria in I Kings 22:34-38. But let me tell you what happened to Jezebel. II Kings 9:30-37 tells the story. Read it from the Holy Bible, "And when Jehu was come to Jezreel, Jezebel heard of it; and she painted her face, and tied her head, and looked out a window. And as Jehu entered in at the gate, she said, Had Zimri peace, who slew his master? And he lifted up his face to the window, and said, Who is on my side? Who? And there looked out to him two or three eunuchs. And he said, Throw her down. So they threw her down: and some of her blood was sprinkled on the wall, and on the horses: and he trod her under foot. And when he was come in, he did eat and drink, and said, Go, see now this cursed woman, and bury her: For she is a king’s daughter. And they went to bury her: but they found no more of her than the skull, and the feet, and the palms of her hands. Wherefore, they came again and told him. And he said, This is the word of the Lord, which he spoke by his servant Elijah the Tishbite, saying, In the portion of Jezreel shall dogs eat the flesh of Jezebel: and the carcass of Jezebel shall be as dung upon the face of the field in the portion of Jezreel; so that they shall not say, This is Jezebel."

6. Wives, don’t you ever think for a minute that you can bring evil influence to bear upon your husbands and escape divine justice. God knows exactly who the source of every evil is. And if you cause your husband to be weak and sin against God, and if you cause your children to grow up with the wrong attitudes, values and habits, you can be sure that God will make you regret the day you ever used your power of influence for the wrong purposes.

III. WHATEVER YOUR REALM OF POWER IS IN THE HOME, BE DEAD CERTAIN THAT YOU USE IT RIGHT.

A. Husbands, use your authority for good and never evil.

1. Don’t use your authority to foster personal gain or selfishness. Your wife and family will scorn you if you do. They will not want to submit to the power of your authority. Luke 6:38 makes it crystal clear that you have the glory of God and the well-being of the family at heart in the exercise of your power and authority.

2. Shoulder your responsibilities, provide for the economic and spiritual needs of your family. Let your love be tender, genuine and consistent, and let it reach the hearts and emotions of your loved ones.

3. Don’t expect your wife to be the economic provider in your home. Don’t expect her to be the spiritual leader.

4. And don't be influenced by anyone, even your wife, to do evil. Regardless of the influence that is brought upon you, you are responsible to God for what you do. Romans 14:11 will prove that.

5. And husbands, take the initiative. Don’t wait for your wife or children to get straightened out so you can be a good husband. That’s a back-handed way of doing business. You go ahead and be the right kind of husband even if the family isn’t what it should be. That’s the surest way in the world to bring your family in subjection to the power of your authority. Remember, the burden of initiative rests on you. Whatever is wrong, it is your place to take the initiative to rectify or correct it. Joshua said, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord," in Joshua 24:15. God said to Abraham, "For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment," in Genesis 18:19. Husbands, let it be that way with you. Ahab missed it right here. He surrendered to evil influence and let weakness and wickedness dominate his life. I Kings 21:25 says, "He did sell himself to work wickedness." "To sell" figuratively means "to surrender." Mister, don’t let it happen to you. God has given you the power of the authority in the home. Use it well.

B. And wives, be careful to use all your power of influence to build up your husbands as they follow the Lord.

1. Don’t be a modern Jezebel. She "stirred" up Ahab to do evil. The word "stirred" has the sexual connotation of "seduce." It means to stimulate, entice, move, persuade or provoke. Is this what you are doing to your husband? Are you slowly but surely using your power of influence to lead him down the wrong path?

2. Wives, don’t nag your husbands. Don’t always be negative, critical and a self-made judge of what your husband does. Don’t turn him away from God. Don’t figure it is your place to buck his authority. The Bible tells you to be "subject" to him.

3. Don’t supplant his power of authority over the children with your power of influence. Oh, how Godless that is, and how long-lasting the results.

4. Ladies, do yourselves, and your families, a favor. Use your power of influence to support the power of your husband’s authority. Work together as one, like Genesis 2:24 says you should. Be a team. Don’t fight each other and nullify the power of the home; work together and double the power of the home. Give every ounce of your power of influence to support the right authority of your husband. Let your children know you are behind their daddy all the way. Encourage him to do right, and praise him when he does. Pray for him and pick him up when he fails. Influence your children to follow the authority of their father. Don’t influence them to follow you. Build him up to your children.

5. I can guarantee that your family will go much farther and be much happier when you are all going the same direction. But, as Ahab and Jezebel proved, it will be a literal mess when you don’t.

"It Does Make a Difference What You Believe"