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Christian Family Principles
Written by Dr. Lester Hutson

Copyright - Lester Hutson - 1981
This material is copyrighted and may not be copied or reproduced without the express written permission of Dr. Lester Hutson.

The Head of the Home

Chapter Eleven

INTRODUCTION: Text * I Samuel 3:11-14

I am going to show you the responsibility God has laid on you to be the head of your home. Let me emphasize that it is God’s plan, and if you rebel against it, you are rebelling against the divine law of God Himself. It is a serious crime to attempt to frustrate the principles and plans of God.

I. HUSBANDS, GOD HAS MADE YOU THE HEAD OF THE HOME OR FAMILY.

A. A family usually consists of a husband, wife and children.

B. The Bible teaches that everybody in the family is to be in subjection to the husband or daddy.

1. God commands you children to be in subjection to both your mother and your father.

a. The first commandment with promise in Moses’ law was to children. It says, "Honor thy father and thy mother," in Exodus 20:12.

b. The first three verses of Ephesians 6 say, "Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and thy mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth."

c. The divine exhortation of Colossians 3:20 is, "Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord."

d. The wisest man who ever lived said, "My son, hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother," in Proverbs 1:8.

2. The Bible tells the children to be in subjection to their parents, and the female parent is to be in subjection to the male parent, which is the husband or father.

a. I Timothy 2:11-12 says, "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But, I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."

b. Listen to the teachings of God’s Word to women in Titus 2:3-5. "The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things: that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

c. The Bible commands the wife outright in Ephesians 5:22, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."

3. If the children are to be subject to the daddy, and the wife is to be subject to the husband, that leaves the man as the governor or overseer of the family.

C. That is precisely how the Bible pictures him.

1. I Corinthians 11:3 says, "The head of the woman is the man."

2. Ephesians 5:23 restates the point by saying, "The husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church."

3. Pastors and deacons are supposed to be choice examples of how a Christian is to live, and the Bible says of the pastor that he must be "One that ruleth well his own hose, having his children in subjection with all gravity," in I Timothy 3:4, and of the deacon it says, "Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well," in I Timothy 3:12.

D. You may not like it and you may never have taken the responsibility of it, but God has given you men the rulership and headship of your home.

1. I know that is grievous to the equal rights amendment.

2. The woman’s liberation organizations think it is barbarious and unfair.

3. It still happens to be how God set it all up, and any time your home is not being operated under this structure, you are violating God’s social order. You are out of harmony with the divine law of God.

II. NOW, TO YOU MEN, LET ME SAY THAT THE POSITION YOU HOLD PLACES SOME VERY GRAVE AND WEIGHTY RESPONSI- BILITIES UPON YOUR SHOULDERS.

A. In the first place, it means you, more than anyone else, will answer to God for the success or failure of your home.

1. Within your grasp is a golden opportunity to conduct a Godly household, which would be a tribute to you and an honor to God. If you succeed in that, there’ll be some great laurels and commen- dations at the end of the way.

2. If you fail to take the charge God has given to you, and your family fails, God will hold you most accountable.

3. You can see how God reckons the matter of failure in the home by looking at Adam and Eve, the first family.

a. Genesis 3:6 shows Eve was actually the first family member to break God’s law.

b. But, God laid the greatest blame for her sin and the breakdown of that family at Adam’s gate. You’ll find God saying in Romans 5:12, "by one man (Adam) sin entered into the world." According to I Timothy 4:14, God reckons it that way because Adam was not deceived and Eve was. As head of his home, Adam should have restrained her, but he didn’t.

4. The truth that God holds the husband in account for the rest of the family is also seen in our text, I Samuel 3:11-14.

a. Eli, the priest was himself a Godly man, but his sons, Hophni and Phinehas, were very wicked. Consider the first two chapters of I Samuel.

b. I Samuel 2:22-25 will show that Eli even spoke with those boys about their evil, "Notwithstanding they harkened not unto the voice of their father...." And I might add here that there are lots of daddies who have the mistaken idea that just talking to them about it and an occasional whipping fulfills their duty. What ever in the name of God you have to do to have a Godly household, do it, and that doesn’t always mean doing by force.

c. The fact is that when Eli’s family grew vile, God got down on Eli about it. Look at I Samuel 3:11-14 again.

5. It is written, "As I live saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. So then everyone of us shall give account of himself to God," in Romans 14:11-12, and no doubt one thing every husband shall account for is the success or failure of his family.

B. Husbands, the knowledge of that ought to make you a better husband to your wife.

1. It ought to make you love her more and care for her more as she is dependent upon you.

a. Ephesians 5:25 says you ought to love her "even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it."

b. Ephesians 5:28 reads, "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies."

c. Remember that "Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, endureth all things, Charity never faileth," in I Corinthians 13:4-8.

d. Treat her that way and you’ll have a better wife and family.

2. Knowledge that you’ll answer to God for her and your children should make you conduct a Godly example for her, as the "weaker vessel" to follow.

a. Peter said, "Likewise ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel," in I Peter 5:7.

b. Every husband ought to be a man his wife can respect and admire in the Lord, and she ought to be able to thank God that she has him.

c. And, if your wife can’t feel that way about you, you’re not the kind of husband you ought to be.

C. It is also a fact that knowledge of being accountable to God should make you a better father to your children.

1. The Bible tells "Ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, " in Ephesians 6:1.

2. You have a responsibility to bring your children up to fear and serve God, and what your children see in you they will generally imitate. See Ezekiel 16:44.

3. That ought to make you very careful in what you say, your attitudes, where you go, your dedication, etc. They’re following right in our footsteps, be they good or bad.

D. Dad, God has made you the head of your home. Make it a God-fearing home.

1. Joshua said, "as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord," in Joshua 24:15. Won’t you say the same?

2. The Lord God said of Abraham, "For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment," in Genesis 18:19.

3. I wonder if God can say that of you. He should be able to say it.

4. Again I tell you, you have a golden opportunity as head of your home to conduct it in such a way as to honor God. When you do, it will be a great tribute to you.

"It Does Make a Difference What You Believe"