10250 North Freeway @ West Road
Houston, Texas 77037
Tel: (281) 447-8484
10250 North Freeway @ West
Road
Houston, Texas 77037
Tel: (281) 447-8484
Christian
Family Principles
Written by Dr.
Lester Hutson
Copyright
- Lester Hutson - 1981
This material is copyrighted and may not be copied or reproduced
without the express written permission of Dr. Lester Hutson.
You and Your Parents
Chapter Four
INTRODUCTION: Text * Colossians 3:20
This lesson is about "You and Your Parents." Surprising as it may be to many boys and girls, the Bible has much to say about how you ought to treat your parents. This chapter is especially for you boys and girls who still live at home with Dad and Mom. I am going to show you some of the things God has to say especially to you about how you should treat your parents. You surely need to read carefully, for the way you treat your parents is going to have a tremendous influence and impact upon you for the rest of your life.
I. BOYS AND GIRLS, GOD HAS PLACED YOU UNDER THE DIRECT AUTHORITY OF YOUR PARENTS.
A. I remind you that God has a chain of command in His society.
1. Though most people rebel against their position in God’s chain of command, God has placed Himself at the top of the chain of command. There is God over the political government, thechurch and the home. In the home, the father is over the mother, who is over the children.
2. Everyone is happier, peace prevails, and everything works better the more carefully this order of command is followed. Boys and girls, that means you will be far better off by submitting your- selves to the authority of your parents than you will be if you rebel against them.
B. God, in His Word, directly commands you to submit yourselves to the authority of your parents.
1. Listen to Colossians 3:20: "Children, obey your parents in all things; for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord." Boys and girls, you may think your parents are "crackpots" or "old that they don’t know what is best for you, but you are not smarter than God. Despite what you think, God says, "Obey your parents," and that your obedience to them pleases Him.
2. God’s Word to you in Ephesians 6:1-2 is, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother."
3. Solomon wrote in Proverbs 23:22, "Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old."
4. Paul, the apostle, said, "Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: for the powers that be are ordained of God," in Romans 13:1. Though this speaks mainly of political government, it also includes parents. Parents are a higher power over children, and this passage tells children to be subject to them.
5. Solomon wrote, "A fool despiseth his father’s instructions: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent," in Proverbs 15:5. He also said, "The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it," in Proverbs 30:17.
6. It is no wonder then that Solomon advised in Proverbs 6:20-23, "My son, keep thy father’s commandments, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee: when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee: and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the ways of life."
C. There are three basic purposes for the authority of your parents over you.
1. The authority of your parents over you is designed to cause you to grow in wisdom and in character.
a. As the preceding passage, Proverbs 6:20-23, shows, the commandments and laws of parents strengthen and fortify you for the adversaries and problems of life.
b. It is a wise son or daughter indeed who learns obedience, self- sacrifice, humility and meekness. These are high points of character development, and they are some of the things that submission to parental authority can develop in you.
c. Jesus Himself is the classic example for every one of you boys and girls in this matter. From His birth until He was thirty years old, He was subject unto His parents. Luke 2:51 talks about Him at twelve years of age and says that He went with His parents to Nazareth, "and was subject unto them." Now, boys and girls, you can't beat the example of Jesus. As a result of His obedience to His parents, Luke 2:52 says, "and Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man."
d. Young man, young lady, if you want to grow in wisdom and in good, right character, submit yourselves in humble obedience to your Dad and Mom.
2. The authority of your parents is also designed to give you protection from destructive temptations.
a. In several places in the Bible specific reference is made to the concern, care and protection the parents and older ones provided and desired to provide for the little ones who were under their authority. Consider Genesis 43:8, Genesis 46:5, Numbers 32:16-17, and Ezra 8:21.
b. Boys and girls, you need to realize that God has given you parents to care for you and look out for your well-being. They can often see dangers you cannot see. Their experience and maturity can cause you to avoid many a pitfall if you are willing to submit yourselves to them.
c. Kids, for your own sakes, you need to see it right. You need to see that submitting yourselves to your parent’s authority is not just placing yourself under the domination of authority, it is placing yourselves under the protection of authority.
3. In the third place, the authority of your parents is designed to give you clear direction for life’s decisions.
a. Romans 8:28 says, "All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Parents are a part of the "all things." That simply means God can use parents to work for the good of children. The more you children realize that God is using your parents in His providential work to shape and guide your lives for the better, the greater your faith will grow, and the more you will be able to bear with strength and grace the hard things which you will sometimes have to face. You will recognize these things as the handiwork of God in your lives, which have the effect of molding and shaping you in the way you ought to go.
b. Paul showed how parents play this role over their children, who will submit to them when He said in Ephesians 6:1-3, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord; for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth."
c. Remember, too, that Solomon said in Proverbs 6:23, "For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life."
d. Young people, you need guidance and direction in your life, and your parents are one of several tools God has for giving it to you. Don’t kick and rebel against them, and in so doing, remove yourself from the very ones God has appointed for your well-being. If you do, much of the direction and guidance for your life that you need will be gone, and you will likely suffer from the resulting deficiency for the rest of your life.
II. BOYS AND GIRLS, IF YOU REJECT GOD’S USE OF YOUR PAR- ENTS TO BUILD DISCIPLINE AND CHARACTER INTO YOU, GOD WILL PROBABLY RAISE UP A BIGGER, HARDER TOOL TO PUT IT INTO YOU.
A. As a hammer is a tool in the hand of a carpenter, parents are a tool in the hand of God. Not His only tool, but a tool nonetheless.
1. If "the king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water," as in Proverbs 21:1, surely your parents are in His hand, too.
2. You are not the boy or girl you ought to be. You have not learned all you need to know. But good parents, through instruction and discipline, can bring you far along the road of improvement and maturity. Solomon said, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him," says Proverbs 22:15.
3. As Romans 13:1-2 make clear, God works for us through those in authority over us. It is tragic that very few boys and girls ever see that truth.
B. To their own hurt and future suffering, many a boy and girl has grown rebellious and refused to submit themselves to their parents.
1. Somehow they think they know more than Dad or Mom knows. They want to be free to do their own thing. They don’t want to be told what to do. They don’t want any authority over them. They have decided to make themselves their own authority. They don’t want anybody trying to teach them anything or trying to mold any character into them.
2. But, young man and young lady, you’d better get out of that glass house before someone crashes it down around you. You’d better get out of your dream world and face the facts and realities of life. You are never going to reach a place in your life where you don’t need to learn a few things. And whether you like it or not, you will never get out from under authority.
a. If the authority is not your parents, it may likely be your husband, your boss, the police, the sergeant, the prison warden, or the one to whom you are in debt. The sources may vary, but authority is a fact of life.
b. God is the one who established the chain of command, and even if you could succeed in removing yourself from all other authority (which you can’t), there is still the authority of God over you, and Romans 14:11-12 declares, "For it is written, as I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. So then, every one of us shall give an account of himself to God."
c. God only knows how many "smart alek," rebellious boys have grown up and determined to get away from the authority of their parents, only to go off and join the marines or some tough gang where they become immediately subjected to authority of the strictest sort. In fact, in crime situations, they become irreversibly locked into an absolute authority and totally lose their freedoms.
d. Many a girl has rebelled against parental authority to run off and marry her big "he man," suddenly to find he makes her walk a tighter line than her parents ever did.
3. Young people, if you want to grow in character and be really free, then learn to live under right authority. The best place in the world to start is by obeying your parents. God is far more interested in shaping your character for the better than in the tools He uses to do it. If you are not willing to let Him use your parents to break your stubbornness, pride and self-will, then He will likely use a husband, boss, policeman, prison warden or a mafia gang leader to break it in you. You’d better think that over before you grow too rebellious against your daddy and mother.
III. YOU NEED TO BEAR IN MIND THAT GOD IS GOING TO HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR DISOBEDIENCE TO THE AU- THORITY OF YOUR PARENTS.
A. Listen to the warning which the scriptures give.
1. Solomon said, "A fool despiseth his father’s instructions," in Proverbs 15:5.
2. Again Solomon said in Proverbs 29:1, "He that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be cut off, and that without remedy." You can’t disregard the reproof of your parents without suffering dire consequences.
3. Remember that Proverbs 30:17 said, "The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it." And Proverbs 20:20 says, "Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness."
B. You lose in at least four separate ways once you begin to rebel against parental authority.
1. Your own personal testimony is hurt or destroyed.
a. The Bible says, "obey" your parents in Colossians 3:20 and Ephesians 6:1. When you don’t do that, you are a rebel and God says, "rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft," in I Samuel 15:23. Your disobedience to your parents is a public testimonial that you are not right with God, for you are also disobedient to Him.
b. You know well that you cannot have any good spiritual influence over others when they can see that you are directly disobedient to, and rebellious against, God.
c. Furthermore, the promise of perpetual blessings and sustaining grace is only to those who will submit themselves to the Lord; thus, when you grow rebellious, you forfeit the bless- ings and strength of God that you could otherwise have.
d. King Saul, of I Samuel 15:28, illustrates this in that he lost his kingdom and all his personal strength for his disobedience and rebellion against God.
2. Your physical life is also likely to be shortened by your disobedience to your parents.
a. Ephesians 6:1-3 says that obedience to parents is likely to produce a longer than ordinary life on earth. After the com- mand to obey your parents, Paul says the result is "that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth."
b. God cut King Saul’s life short because of his disobedience, as I Samuel 28:19 will prove.
c. Young person, one thing this means is that disobedience to your parents is an invitation to a premature death.
3. Furthermore, your personal peace of mind and tranquility is destroyed by your disobedience.
a. Solomon wrote, "Be not wise in thine own eyes: (such as when you act as though you know more than your parents) fear the Lord, and depart from evil. (And it is a sin against God to disobey your parents) It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones," in Proverbs 3:7-8. In the marrow of the bones is where the blood is manufactured, and life is in the blood. So the Word of God is speaking of renewed life and joy to those who submit to authority, which would include the authority of Father and Mother.
b. When you disobey, and there is fighting and trouble, feelings are hurt, bitterness springs forth, resentments and hatreds develop, and a multitude of other attitude problems arise. These bring on stress, physical problems, and out go joy, happiness and peace of mind.
c. Many a young person today is living in frustration and turmoil, and it has been brought on by his selfish, stubborn, rebellious will.
4. Another loss brought on by disobedience to parents is that once the young person grows up and has children of his own, these children have no spiritual heritage.
a. Young man or lady, you cannot pass on to your children the lessons you never learn. If you don’t learn obedience, submis- sion to authority, humility, and how to resolve the conflicts of life, it is a certain fact that you cannot teach these good virtues to your children.
b. So, your children end up suffering for your shortcomings. In fact, instead of teaching them good virtues, you will teach them your own rebellious spirit, your self-will and your miserable ways of conflict. They will then be disobedient to you.
c. That means that you end up perpetuating problems and conflicts in life by passing them on to your children. You see, young people, your disobedience to your parents has a much more far-reaching effect than you might at first suspect.
C. You young people are not likely to ever learn to live with authority later in life if you don’t learn it at home, and if you don’t learn to live with authority, your life will be filled with constant conflicts.
1. You are going to generally treat others very similarly to how you treat your parents.
a. You girls will almost always treat your husbands the same way you treat your fathers. Boys, you would do well to observe how your prospective wife responds to the authority of her father.
b. You boys will most likely treat your wives the way you treat your mother. If you resent your mother’s encouragements to do better and look better, you will also resent your wife’s encouragements along these lines, accusing her of being just like your mother.
c. Now, if you respond negatively to the authority of your parents, you will likely respond negatively to the authority of your husband, your boss, your church, your police, your government and all other authority. The result will be a life of misery and frustration, filled with constant turmoil and con- flicts with others.
2. Furthermore, your response to God’s authority will be very similar in nature to your response to your parents’ authority. The very people who rebel most at home are the ones less likely to accept the authority of God and His Word in their lives.
3. You never out-grow the need for authority, and the sooner you can learn to be in subjection to it, the better off you are.
4. Parents, you need to realize this. If you really love your children and care about their future well-being, you will teach them subjection to authority, even though it may be difficult and require stringent measures.
"It Does Make a Difference What You Believe"